Monday, July 27, 2015

The Concept of Balance

The concept of balance is pretty integral to riding of any kind.  Riders must place themselves on top of a moving animal in such a way as to be able to effectively change the balance of the animal and direct the forces of energy.  All while not falling off of course!  Without balance, correct and effective biomechanics are impossible, so even if you as a rider are using your aids correctly, if you are fundamentally unbalanced, the aids won't work correctly.

I've been pondering whether life might be like this as well.  Juggling work, family, and all the obligations real life serves up sometimes leaves us dissatisfied with everything because nothing is done well.  Our "aids" don't go through because of a fundamental lack of balance.  We struggle because we are not living a life of balance, making priorities and placing emphasis on some things over others.

Whatever the correct balance of life is for you, finding it means the things you do will be of a higher quality and better in their execution.  For some equestrians this might mean devoting themselves totally to riding and giving up many other opportunities such as education and personal life in pursuit of their dreams.  For others in the vast majority, it might mean some compromise of work, riding, and personal life that is the right mix for them.  Some people want to focus more on a demanding job, some on family, and some don't have kids expressly so they can focus on work and competing.  The idea is there is no one right balance in life, only the correct balance for you personally with your dreams, desires, and strengths.

I have struggled with this myself as I raise two kids.  I have been so lucky to be a stay at home parent with kids that have their own serious interests while at the same time being able to keep my horses on my farm and keep riding through everything.  Don't get me wrong, at times it has been very hard.  When I had tiny kids, a husband constantly at work, kids, a farm, and a house to mostly take care of by myself it was rough.  I persevered though, and I have been able to be around for pretty much everything for my kids while riding throughout. The library story times, the first(and second!) pony, ballet lessons, skating lessons, hockey, and both kids thriving in school and in their chosen sports.  So fun, and truly I get such enjoyment out of seeing them struggle, work, and succeed(or not!) in their activities and being there day in and day out.

The reality of this though, is that there is not much money or time left over to pursue serious riding and showing with a trainer.  It's all a matter of balance though.  I have been able to do the things that are really important to me as a parent while still managing to ride and improve in some way.  Not as much as I would like or at the level I would like, but still, riding, and quite frankly better in dressage by quite a bit.  I feel very very lucky.  Even if I had more funds and therefore easier and more childcare when the kids were little and more "extra" money for lessons and showing, I don't know if for me I would have been any happier.  I am not great at splitting my focus a million different ways and once I had that first kid it was all about her.  That said, I kept riding throughout(oldest kid is 14) and was happy to have something that was just for me but not the total focus of my life.

Yes, I would like to be further along riding-wise, but still, nice pony, improved riding, and a future plan that includes more lessons, showing, and a "fancy" horse when my focus shifts from kids back to more serious competing.  At times it has been frustrating and at times super fulfilling but when I made peace with the fact that the balance of my life had shifted and would shift again when my kids were older, everything about my life seemed so much more satisfying.

4 comments:

  1. Well said. I totally agree that when we spread ourselves too thin we aren't successful at anything. I have to give up a lot to maintain balance in my personal life. I work, cook dinner and care for the house, and spend time at the barn. That's it. I don't have room for anything else other than an occasional haircut or pedicure. I make time for my husband (visits to our cabin and travel), but all of my friends have to be horsey friends or I don't ever see them.

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  2. Well said. I totally agree that when we spread ourselves too thin we aren't successful at anything. I have to give up a lot to maintain balance in my personal life. I work, cook dinner and care for the house, and spend time at the barn. That's it. I don't have room for anything else other than an occasional haircut or pedicure. I make time for my husband (visits to our cabin and travel), but all of my friends have to be horsey friends or I don't ever see them.

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  3. Exactly @ Bakersfield Dressage. You've given up some things to have the thing you want more, riding, training, and showing but you've still made time for some things that really matter. Other people might find a different mix but everyone benefits from picking and choosing where to focus time and energy.

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