It has been very interesting because as I have parented two kids to their teens, I have gone from being a more authoritarian rider, a little more forceful and determined to get my way NOW, to a more authoritative rider. I have a clear idea of what I want but I am much more open to different ways of getting to the end goal. A little more subtle, open to thinking about where I as a rider am going wrong, using different ideas and techniques, and I would say having kids has a lot to do with that change. After trying gazillion different things to get a kid to the desired outcome, including everything from out and out bribery to unpleasant consequences, horse training seems pretty simple. And the horses don't talk back...
Yes! For me I am *still learning* the role of patience, being able to slow down and let small lessons absorb instead of the "listen to me now!" mentality I used to have. If raising kids doesn't kill you, you definitely come out the other side with a whole new appreciation of the word 'patience'. Also a big one is removing emotion from the equation, which is slowly getting easier for me! :) Horse lessons/life lessons really go hand in hand.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely Wendy! My patience is still not the best but it is infinitely better than pre-kids.
ReplyDeleteVery true! I keep telling myself to be more determined and authoritative but since I'm a newer rider I worry that I'm not always asking correctly. My coach keeps trying to tell me I know what I'm doing but I don't always believe her ;)
ReplyDeleteCeCo, horse training IS a lot like parenting, sometimes you have to fake it until you make it. You have to show confidence in your judgement or things go off the rails pretty quickly.
DeleteVery true! It is all about balance - you don't want to be aggressive, but you don't want to let them walk all over you. Patience is key.
ReplyDeleteThe patience is a tough one. It does get better with practice though...
DeleteGreat point! I once had a trainer tell me that it is important to think of your horse as your business partner, especially if you are expecting them to perform well in the performance pen. You want a "working relationship" with your horse not one that is overly friendly which can cause your horse to lose respect for you and cause you problems in the performance pen.
ReplyDeleteOh, I like the business partner idea. I do think it is a problem when you want to be friends with your kids and I also think being too sympathetic/soft with your horses can lead to obnoxious behavior. Such a fine line...
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