Saying Goodbye

Two weeks ago this morning, I said goodbye to my 27 year old Hanoverian mare Oreo Cookie.  She had a good long life and looked fantastic until about two weeks before she passed.  When she started dropping weight rapidly, got very quiet, and just wasn't at all her exuberant bitch self despite copious green pasture, abundant food, and care, my husband was adamant that we not drag things out and I agreed.  It's still a hard thing to do though.  I owned her for 22 years, basically half my life.  

Cookie was difficult, opinionated, hot, stubborn, and basically bat shit crazy sometimes, but at other times we had a wonderful connection.  She was a fantastic athlete with movement and jump to die for and you literally might see the pearly gates if she was in a mood.  We showed through second level dressage, won a starter horse trial, did numerous clinics, showed some hunters, and had thousands of riding hours together.  One day she could be wonderful and the next completely unreasonable.  She was so hot and reactive that everything had to be perfect to have a good ride.  She drove me crazy with her irrational mare BS, but also led me down the path of looking at alternative ideas like Centered Riding, Mary Wanless, and a whole host of different training techniques for hotter, more difficult horses.  I was perpetually frustrated by her nuttiness while simultaneously she opened up my mind to a whole new path of training and riding.

When I bought Jet I started riding her less because I found him so much easier.  It was such a novelty having a horse that always came out with the attitude, "What do you want me to do so I can do it and get my treat?"  He had nowhere near her athleticism but was just so much more pleasant to deal with on a daily basis.  So Cookie had a nice semi-retirement with a triple stall, 24 hour turnout, and the occasional ride testing out some new concept.  She was particularly receptive to the TRT Method since it really helped her with some of her fear issues and made her a little safer to handle on the ground.  She was slightly arthritic when I discovered Dressage Naturally, so I didn't bother to use the principles on her, but I think it would have been super beneficial.

A lot of people would have moved her on at some point earlier in her riding life but I just couldn't do it.  I was pretty convinced she would end up on a truck to nowhere good.  Though she was a PIA, even in retirement, I felt responsible for her.  My only regret is that I can't do it all over again knowing all the things I know now.  I could do so much better.  Greener pastures big girl.